The Gold in Shadow Work

I feel the whispers of The Shadow self calling from the moment we shifted into the Scorpio Season. Despite the dark nights, much inside has been illuminated through an external and intrinsic invitation to make space for Shadow work. How did this play out for me? Well, I literally set fire to a carpet last week, accidentally (no harm done besides my guilt, since it wasn’t my own carpet!). I also scolded myself through spilling boiling hot tea over myself! I believe in signs, I do not believe in coincidences. With the sheer alarm from both experiences fuelling a burning curiosity within, I asked the universe what the heck it was trying to tell me…the theme was heat, fire and potential burnout. Following some work I’d coincidentally been doing with a brilliant astrologist at the time, I was able to reconnect with all that the scorpio season means for me personally. The Shadow.

The Shadow is a Jungian term, referring to the hidden aspects of ourselves that we have suppressed and locked away deep within our subconscious. Here are a few reasons why we do this:

• We were shamed into believing these aspects of ourselves are unloveable and unworthy
• We were told or felt it was unacceptable to express this part of ourselves to others (eg, Rage or Anger)
• We hold deep routed fear of rejection and abandonment from those around us
• We have a strong attachment to the identity/image we’ve created
• We hold traumatic memories and experiences connected with these aspects of the Shadow self

It became clear to me that there are burning desires of mine spilling over. That it was time for me to be brutally honest with myself about what sets my soul on fire, and bring more of what I am deeply passionate about into my life. Or risk burning out. Using the momentum from this seasons energy and having difficult but transparent conversations with my Shadow, I’ve realised I’ve identified so deeply with being a ‘New Age Boho Mum’ that I’d repressed a part of my passionate, fiery feminine energy. 

I prioritised embodying the parts of myself that I feel comfortable owning such as being patient, caring, maternal and empathetic. Meanwhile I had completely disowned the parts of me raging to use my voice to call out the atrocities that are taking place globally right now. Ignored my deeply sensual, sexual and creative energy which wants to be expressed into physical form. Had paralysed the part of me which yearns to dance and sing without giving a shit whether the world thinks I’m good enough or not. Had silenced my need to discuss periods, sex, the patriarchy and shockingly, weird, woo spiritual stuff!

Facing The Shadow Self can feel incredibly uncomfortable & inconvenient! It requires meeting ourselves more deeply than ever and is the epitome of true self love. It’s easy to love the parts of ourselves society deems as acceptable or beautiful but not so easy to love those parts of ourselves we dislike at best and loathe at worst. Previous experiences of meeting the rage my Shadow holds, felt cripplingly shameful since surface level spirituality labelled this as bad, even as a deadly sin! It certainly went against the identity my ego had created of myself as being a patient, caring, gentle Mum. 

Overtime gently offering acceptance and love towards this aspect of myself, I have been able to witness how rage, when worked with properly, can be a pathway to deepen my spirituality. Through both practising radical self acceptance and self compassion, but also as an initiator for fuelling speaking up and out for the vulnerable aspects of myself and others. I was able to see the connection between the rage and the deeply humanitarian aspect of myself that simply wishes love, safety and respect for myself and others. Ofcourse, this connection has to be managed with vigilance and self awareness but bringing it to the forefront as a compassionate observer helped me see The Shadow was never the problem, it was my relationship with The Shadow which had become problematic.

Without meeting, accepting and integrating our shadow we cannot access our full potential. Since hiding in the shadows is where we will find our Inner Gold. The only way to her is through. She’s the part of ourselves we shrink away from because the light can be so uncomfortably bright. So many of us are terrified of our Divinity and God Given Gifts. We hide away from sharing our true light in all its’ glory for fear of what others think, fears of success, fears of change, fears they’ll leave! So many of us have so much unfulfilled potential which is a genuine tragedy. Shadow work is the beginning to piecing together the fragments of ourselves in order for us to show up more whole. After all, how can we experience a full life if only part of us is showing up to the party?

So Shadow Work this time round for me, meeting the fiery, sensual, feminine within. I decided to yield to some of my Shadows’ desires in a balanced way. I got out my mini skirt, my red lipstick and my favourite rose mid-calf docs and danced all night completely sober until 3am. Both with my friends and friends I hadn’t met yet. I randomly was asked by a client to support them with helping them align a melody with some music they had written, so I got to sing freely and help another in the process.

I deepened my work with my sensual feminine energy through both ecstatic and sensual dance practices at home alone with candles, a journal and my breath. Allowing this energy to move through my physical body and somatic release of the distortions my mind and body holds around these aspects of the Shadow self and the latent sexual energy it holds. I have also shared more publicly around my channelled rage around world atrocities, my weird and wonderful spiritual journey and increased discussions around periods, sexual energy and the patriarchy.

Now is a beautiful, aligned time to delve into the shadows and to understand the mysteries and the truth behind what truly inspires, drives and calls us. Many of us are going through huge transformations, you’ve probably already felt this pull without realising. This is evident even within the working world.

‘‘The Great Resignation’: almost one in four UK workers planning job change’ The Guardian.

Many of us have felt the urge to challenge the status quo of our lives, we feel this deep irritation that it can no longer be business as usual. There are skins and identities for us to shed and new archetypes within our psyche that crave to take up space through connecting with the physical experience of life. They want their time to shine!

Perhaps you’ve set a few fires yourself (hopefully not in the literal sense), through instigating heated conversations around uncomfortable topics which you feel passionate about? Triggers stirring the shadow inside to rare its’ shocking head? Or felt the whispers of The Shadow through hints of what you deeply desire but it feels unacceptable or inappropriate to indulge? Maybe your dreams are becoming more vivid carrying potent energy, with The Shadow self showing up wearing other faces? All invitations for deep diving into the realm of the subconscious to uncover the treasures lurking beneath the dark, mysterious and murky waters of The Shadow.

With this in mind, perhaps you can ponder or journal around this. As Carl Jung says:

“ One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious”.

Plus

“Learning how to see in the dark is a Magical Must”- says me : )