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Becoming 'Her'.

“Who the fuck is She?” you ask.

You know.

That Woman you envisage and hold in your mind’s eye who feels so far away from your now. She, who feels above and beyond the reality creation you’re currently playing in.

She’s you.

You are her.

It feels safe for you to have her live in your mind rather than your reality. Can you imagine the carnage from her arrival in your world?

In fact.

Do it now.

Imagine the carnage she would create in your world.

If she suddenly arrived in it, what ripples would her light and her darkness like the full moon in a night sky make?

If she suddenly arrived in your body. What would she choose to wear? Is there even anything in your wardrobe for her or is it time to go shopping?

How would she speak to that arsehole you weren’t yet ready to admit behaves like an arsehole?

Oh she has no qualms with self honesty.

In fact, maybe she verbalizes this honesty out loud so he knows exactly what she thinks of him.

And whilst she’s at it, maybe she gives you a bit too for being an arsehole to yourself in accepting the shitty moments throughout your shitty day, like you aren’t bigger than this. Like you weren’t meant for more than this.

Maybe you weren’t quite ready to admit this yet? No shame.

Don’t worry, she’s got this for you.

She’ll disrupt your life on your behalf.

She has balls big enough for the both of you.

Maybe you feel intimidated by her balls and the amount of space in your life they already threaten to take up…she has people chafing.

Big balls sigh.

There’s not much oxygen left in this room and suddenly it feels so small because She is just so fucking big!

Her presence.

Some might see the gift in her being present, others’ might want to send it straight back. She doesn’t give a shit.

She walks in the room like God sent her.

Because God did.

God sent her- this her who is really you.

Imagine that…

Imagine now that she’s imagining seeing herself through your eyes; how she laughs at the adorability in you thinking that she was just a figment of your imagination.

Imagine her surprise in seeing you actually believed you were separate from her. She’s impressed with your capacity to push her down for so long- what enormous mental muscles you have!

No wonder you’re so tired all the time, the exhaustion comes from all that energy its’ taken to convince yourself you aren’t her. Keeping yourself small is painfully tiring.

To persuade yourself somewhere inside you aren’t worthy of what she can bring into your world. The depletion from confusing being a Woman with being a Martyr. Being plugged into a system that drains the life out of you with its endless demands when you’re a cyclical being.

A living being made out of multiple endings.

Yet the system is endless.

She’s calling for a divorce. Not from you, don’t worry.

But from the life you’ve created up until now. It served its’ season but this season has come to an end- remember? Living being with multiple endings…

Now it’s’ time she takes over for a little bit.

She senses the panic in your nervous system about her willingness to go fuck shit up. She reassures you it’s for the best. To go make yourself a cup of tea or grab a glass of red while you’re at it. Put your feet up and enjoy the show.

When it’s your time in your Soul’s story again, she’ll give you a shout.

But for now, it’s her time to play on this chess board called ‘Your Life’.

Let the Queen walk into Your Life like God sent her.

Because She did.

Through you.